We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
