did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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