If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
