dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I want to have your abortion
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
