when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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