I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
