I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
