I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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