yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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