I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
