Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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