And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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