Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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