Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think my moral compass just broke
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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