no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
