he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
