I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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