There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
