just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
