Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
