I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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