You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
