Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize