I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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