my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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