Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
