if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
