so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
3pm strippers are depressing
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
