Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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