i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
