Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
