I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
