I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
