yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
