If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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