Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
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she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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