my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
