it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
