what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
