all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
