ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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