Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
