I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
