he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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