ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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