lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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