how do flat chested girls get laid?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
