dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
