just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
