I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
