Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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