My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Shame - the story of my life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
