well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
