If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
