Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
