We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
