True but thats because hes a fetus.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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