I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
