Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize