Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
