Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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