I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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