I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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