Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
