Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
