How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize